Midlife Motivation

Ode to the Mammogram

For several years they've told me,
"Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever bruise or hurt them,
And give them monthly tests."

So I heeded all their warnings
And protected, both, they are!
I've guarded them most carefully,
And always worn a bra.

After thirty years of tender care,
The doctor found a lump.
He ordered me a mammogram,
To look inside that bump.

"Stand up very close," she said,
As she got my breast in line,
"And tell me if it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes, there… that's fine!"

She stepped upon a pedal…
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate was pushing down,
My boob was in a vice!

My skin was stretched and stretched,
From way up by my chin.
And my poor breast was being squashed
To Swedish pancake thin!

"There, that was good," I heard her say,
As the room was slowly swaying.
"Now, let's have the other one."
Lord, have mercy, I was praying!

This machine was made by men,
Of this I have no doubt.
I'd like to get their nuts in there -
For months they'd go without!

I have to say with great relief
My cyst was nothing serious
and now I know a mammogram
is not quite so mysterious

Tags: breast awareness, mammogram