Midlife Motivation

Posted in Blogs on Health & Wellbeing by Amanda Farrell (Guest Blogger) at 21.34 on Mon 12 April 2010.

Four years of downhill . . . not an exciting sport!

Well, back in 2006 I started going a bit strange, not that I noticed to start with … although my partner defiantly did!
Just small stuff, like I found it difficult to concentrate, difficult to get up in the mornings (mind you I was getting up at 4am to travel to Ireland) my limbs felt heavy, and I was never thirsty for some strange reason!

More worryingly, I would suddenly feel like I needed to cry, which was so bizarre that it did actually make me laugh out loud at one point (got me some very funny looks on the train I can tell you). All of this was bearable, strange, but bearable, not causing me to worry really, although at the time I was also trying to conceive a second child, and getting a bit uptight about not being able to!

Gradually however, over the months, into 2007 & into 2008 things became more difficult. It was strange at the time, but just getting up became very difficult, whatever time I had to rise at!

I would struggle to even decide what to wear on bad days, I spoke to a friend about my state, which was getting less bearable as the weeks and months passed (I updated her each Sat as we went for a run) she is a nurse, and said one day, Amanda! Your body chemistry sounds like it is up the spout!

Working had become a problem as I gave presentations to clients at a high level, it’s difficult to keep positive, travel the country and deliver a faultless event, when you struggle to even put on two stockings of the same colour!
So ... I had to take some time out!  Not from choice you understand, but because my body demanded it!

Blood tests suggested that I was Peri-menopausal, or starting to go into the menopause. I was devastated, mostly because we wanted another child if possible!  Not possible, or as the consultant said, “ Amanda, the ship has not just left the dock, but its sailing away my dear!”

To HRT or not to HRT?
I had a body and a mind that I just didn’t know after 3 years of struggling on! This may sound strange to you, but honestly my body wouldn’t do stuff that I would have taken in my stride before. My running for instance, had got slower & s l o w e r until I had to describe the state to someone and said “Oh yes I have Elephant legs today”.

Eventually I went to consult my GP. But only after I called a crisis hotline that my employer offered all employees, a great benefit. I called them to say I thought I should hand in my notice, as I couldn’t carry out my work due to the fact I was so tearful, exhausted and confused.

Luckily for me I had great advice from both the hotline and my HR manager, "Take some time out lady!"

I was in such a state that I had to ask my partner to come to the doctors with me, depression had set in and I never want to go to that black hole again I can tell you. As a very positive person depression is a hard one to accept, but I have learned that you can’t just snap out of it that’s for sure!

My GP offered HRT, I was desperate, but once home I read the packet, the side effects where scary, mind you, I was scary too at that point!  I thought about it all, the way I felt, the type of hormones on offer, my mental state, but I could not bring myself to take the HRT, even if, like another pal said, it would make me run faster!

Deep down I felt for me that I wanted my body to sort it out; I am not one to override the natural balance of stuff, even though by then I had been offered anti depressants too.

I also went to see a Homeopathic Doctor that was also a GP; I had consulted him in the past. I wanted to help myself re-balance my body chemistry. But as he said, its not a fast track, this is the slower way to help, but, I decided that was the way for me.
 
Not easy, but I could cope better with softer intervention and working with my body to get my health back.

Tags: menopause